340+ Bagel Puns That Are Hole-y Hilarious

By Emma Brooke

Looking for a way to make your conversations more deliciously funny? These bagel puns are here to spread the joy like cream cheese on a warm, toasty bagel! Whether you’re sending a cute thank-you message, posting on social media, or just looking to make someone smile, this list is a hole lot of fun. Bagels are more than just breakfast—they’re a comedy classic. This article brings you 340+ original bagel puns that are witty, warm, and fresh out of the pun oven. Scroll through and find the perfect pun to fill your humor cravings!

These Puns Perfect For…?

  • 🥯 Thank-you cards with a tasty twist
  • 📚 Teachers who bagel-ieve in fun learning
  • 😂 Sharing on Reddit or social media threads
  • 💌 Making your friends laugh a hole lot
  • 🧠 Adding cleverness to your wordplay arsenal

Did You Know?

  • Bagel puns thank you” searches have risen thanks to creative gift tags and notes.
  • Teachers love receiving bagel puns in student gifts – yes, “bagel puns for teachers” are trending!
  • On Reddit, “bagel puns” are often shared in pun battles and food humor subs.
  • The best bagel puns are short, fresh, and easy to digest – just like the real thing!
  • Some “dirty bagel jokes” exist too, but this article keeps it clean and clever.
  • Want a giggle? “Bagel jokes one-liners” are a hit at brunch tables everywhere.
  • Places like the Bagel Pub use puns to name their menu items.
  • If you like bread puns, you’ll loaf these too.
  • Bagel jokes” are often seen on café chalkboards to brighten mornings!
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1. Funny Bagel Puns to Make You Crumb-le with Laughter 🥯😂

  • You’re my everything—bagel, not person.
  • I feel hole again every time I eat one.
  • Bagel me up before you dough-go!
  • You’re looking baked today!
  • That joke was un-bagel-ievable!
  • Let’s roll with it, like a fresh sesame bagel.
  • Are you a bagel? Because you complete me.
  • That idea has a hole lot of potential.
  • Don’t go loxing confidence now.
  • He’s totally toasted, isn’t he?
  • I’m smearing with joy right now.
  • She’s got that everything energy.
  • That pun was a bit chewy, but I liked it.
  • You’re the cream cheese to my bagel heart.
  • Let’s spread happiness like schmear!
  • Stop loafing around and grab a bagel.
  • That’s the upper crust of humor.
  • I’m bready for anything today.
  • You bagel my heart. 💖
  • This is what I call a hole-some conversation.

2. Bagel Puns for Thank You Cards 💌🥯

  • Thanks a hole bunch!
  • You’re an everything to me!
  • You’re the bagel to my schmear—perfect!
  • I could never toast to a better friend.
  • Thanks for everything… bagel included.
  • You made my day more delicious!
  • You’re hole-heartedly appreciated.
  • That meant a hole lot to me!
  • You’re baked with kindness.
  • Thanks for being my breadwinner!
  • I’m just here to roll out the gratitude.
  • You’re the crust I trust.
  • I kneaded that—thank you!
  • I dough-n’t know how to thank you enough.
  • You’re my favorite daily special.
  • Just a toast to say thanks!
  • Grateful down to the last crumb.
  • You kept it fresh—thanks!
  • Appreciation? Toasted and ready!
  • You’ve got everything I admire.

3. Bagel Puns for Teachers 🍎🥯

  • You’re an everything teacher!
  • Thanks for helping me rise.
  • You make learning delicious.
  • This class is baked to perfection!
  • Thanks for keeping it hole-some!
  • You’re a teacher with schmear brilliance.
  • You’re well-rounded in every subject.
  • I’m on a roll thanks to you!
  • You’re the best thing since sliced bagels.
  • Don’t stop be-loxin’ greatness!
  • Your lessons are everything-level good.
  • Thanks for spreading knowledge like cream cheese.
  • You deserve a bagel break!
  • You’re bagel-iciously brilliant!
  • Learning with you is always toasted fun.
  • You teach with a hole lot of heart.
  • Your kindness is fresh daily.
  • Just wanted to toast you, teacher!
  • School feels like a bagel bar with you.
  • We’re schooled and smeared with love!
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4. Clean Bagel One-Liners to Share 🤣🥯

  • I woke up feeling toasty!
  • A day without bagels is like a day without a pun.
  • I bagel to differ.
  • Don’t worry—be bagely.
  • Bagels: proof that holes have meaning.
  • All you knead is bagels.
  • Life is better with schmear.
  • You can’t spell breakfast without bagel vibes.
  • Everything’s better with a bagel.
  • I’m rolling with it.
  • She’s got bagel brilliance.
  • Keep calm and eat a bagel.
  • I’m feeling crusty—need a bagel fix.
  • Toast your problems away!
  • Dough you love bagels?
  • That was a hole lot of funny.
  • Cream cheese and good vibes only.
  • It’s always a bagel kind of morning.
  • You look like you need a warm sesame hug.
  • Rise and grind—bagel style.

5. Bagel Puns for Foodies and Cafes ☕🥯

  • It’s bagel o’clock somewhere!
  • Fresh out the oven with love.
  • Just here to toast your mood.
  • Grab life by the bagel.
  • Wake. Schmear. Repeat.
  • Craving circular joy.
  • Our secret ingredient? Love + yeast.
  • This place is bagel heaven!
  • Bagel me up, buttercup.
  • We knead customers like you!
  • Dough-lightful service, daily.
  • Brunch isn’t complete without you.
  • Get baked the right way.
  • Hole-heartedly handcrafted.
  • Toasted to perfection.
  • Cream cheese is my co-pilot.
  • Baked with purpose, served with style.
  • A bite above the rest.
  • We rise together.
  • Spread love, not stress.

Conclusion: Keep Rollin’ with the Bagel Laughs 🥯🎉

We hope you enjoyed this deliciously funny collection of 340+ bagel puns! Whether you’re writing a thank-you card, surprising a teacher, or simply adding a sprinkle of humor to your day, these puns are baked to perfection. With the right crust, cream cheese, and creativity, you can always roll out a smile. From the classics to the clever twists, bagel puns prove that humor really is the best topping. So go ahead—toast your jokes, spread some cheer, and remember: life’s better with a hole lot of laughter.

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FAQs About Bagel Puns 🍽️🤔

Q1. What are bagel puns?

Bagel puns are lighthearted, wordplay-based jokes that revolve around bagels, bread, toppings like cream cheese, or breakfast themes. They’re great for fun conversation starters or creative captions.

Q2. Where can I use bagel puns?

You can use them in:

  • Thank-you notes or cards
  • Teacher gifts and appreciation tags
  • Instagram captions and TikTok posts
  • Menus, café chalkboards, or bakery ads
  • Everyday jokes with friends and family

Q3. Are there clean and family-friendly bagel puns?

Yes! Most of the puns in this article are clean, wholesome, and safe for all ages. They’re perfect for school settings, classrooms, or even lunchbox notes!

Q4. Can I use these bagel puns for my small business or café?

Absolutely! These puns are ideal for branding, social media marketing, and customer engagement—especially if you own a bakery, café, or brunch spot.

Q5. Are bagel puns similar to bread or food puns?

Yes. While bagel puns are a specific niche, they often overlap with bread puns, breakfast jokes, and other food wordplay. You can mix and match them to suit your audience!

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